Random funny momments

We decided to have a family NCAA bracket pool. Amy and I did ours and then asked the kids to choose their teams. Marc, being very analytical wanted to know "which team was better" and would not choose the lower seated team unless Amy told him the two were almost the same. Lisey took a much more unique approach. She chose her teams by name after we read her the names of the two teams playing at each level. Some of her favorites included "George Attack", "Virgin Attack" and all the schools with Texas in the name because "Texas is where Sandy from Sponge Bob is from.


Marc came into my office the other day after school. As he was unpacking his back pack he said "Hey dad, wanna see my evil rectange?" He then pulled out an index card folded into a 3D rectange. "See, it's evil, it even has teeth!" Sure enough he had added teeth.

Today he was cleaning out his bag and pulled out 5 pictures all labeled "farting robot." I asked, did you shar ethese with your teacher? He replied "he wasn't there today so I shared them with the sub. As a matter of fact, I shared them with my whole class!" (His exact words, he's such a funny kid.)




Then there's all the interesting comments I get from my students.



Two kindergarteners from a different class then my son giggling.

Me: What's so funny?
Girl 1: Nothing, well she has something to tell you.
Girl 2: No, I can't say, you tell him.
Girl 1: OK, Marc (my son) loves her.
Girl 2: Yeah he does, he loves me.
Me: really? Did he tell you that?
Girl 2: Oh no but I know he does because I saw him looking at me.
Girl 1: Yeah, he's in love with her.


First grader in an exasperated voice: "Hey Mr. Snyder, I got my ear pierced but mom didn't know which side you were supposed to do and I got it on the fruity side." Now how do you deal with that one? We've got a gay slur, obviously provided from someone at home, but it's also obvious that first grader has no idea what "fruity" means. Whether I like it or not, it is not my place to be teaching first graders about human sexuality so I decided the best advice I could give him was to go get the other side done as it's become pretty acceptable for boys to have both sides pierced.



3rd grader requesting a library book.
Her: Do you got any books by dat guy dat be tryin to write poery and stuff?
Me: Ummm, Shel Silverstien?
Her: Yeah, dat guy!



Here's a fun one from a few years ago when I taught fourth grade:

4th grade boy, small, nervous, Charlie Brown type. We're doing Mad Libs because I always found they were a fun way to reinforce the parts of speech. We had done them in the past and I always reminded my students when it asked for a part of the body, they needed to keep it appropriate for school.


Me: I need a part of the body.

Student: Balls. (in a deadpan serious voice, not an ttempt to get a laugh from classmates)

Me: Excuse me?

Student: I said balls.

Me: I need to see you in the hall for a momment. (move to hall) Do you know what that word means.

Student: Yes your privates (still in a voice that insinuates hehas no idea he has done anything wrong.)

Me: Do you understand that is totally inappropriate to us in a school activity. I'm really dissappointed in you. I want you to go home, write me an appology letter (that was the satandard punishment that year so we could improve writing for out high stakes testing) and have your mom sign it. (I'm so mean!)

Monday morning, student gives me his note and it reads "Dear me, I'm sorry for using an inappropriate word during our activity in class on Friday. My mother has discussed what is appropriate and what is not for school. She has also bought me a dictionary so I can look up words and see if they are appropriate. The only reason I though it was Ok is that I used nuts two weeks ago and you didn't say anything.